What About Teh Menz?

It never ceases to amaze me, on articles like this on the Good Men Project website, commenters will jump on writers for this or that.

This article talks about the proper way to stare at a woman. (I won’t go into my issues with THAT, suffice it to say that staring is rude, period.) In one sentence, the author, Hugo, says that he believes it’s entirely appropriate for women to be suspicious of leering men.

Cue commenters: “But WHHHHYY aren’t you writing about the WOMEN who stare? Huh? Misandrist! Propagator of feminist lies!”

Um. Perhaps because the website is called the GOOD MEN Project? Perhaps the article is aiming toward encouraging men to be Good Men?

These commenters seem to think that becoming good men rests on their ability to make women look bad. Thankfully, Goodness is not a zero sum game.

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About Brittany-Ann
Brittany-Ann is a proud, self-identified feminist with fictional tendencies. She currently writes for LouisvilleKY.com and moderates at My Fault I'm Female. She smokes camels, reads Dumas, and navigates a conservative state as "one of them darn liberals."

2 Responses to What About Teh Menz?

  1. Eoghan says:

    Many men are sick of the constant playing of the victim and crying rape by feminists and men like Hugo that simultaneously worship, patronize and nurture the [ableism removed] (feminists), while castigating men.

    Many men are also sick of the constant criticism, nitpicking, blaming, slandering and lack of self awareness and personality responsibility coming for the feminist camp. Its like [ableism removed] and I have come to wonder if feminism is largely populated by women [ableism removed].

    If women are looking to be “strong and independent”, which many are. Letting themselves be debilitated and infantalised by feminist ideology and paternal men like Hugo, is not the way forward.

    • Brittany-Ann says:

      Many men are sick of the constant playing of the victim and crying rape by feminists and men

      Translation: Many men are sick of women coming out and sharing their experiences of rape and sexual assault, rather than being properly ashamed and silent so that men like you don’t have to feel uncomfortable—or face the idea that men are imperfect and the society that men have built is flawed.

      like Hugo that simultaneously worship, patronize and nurture the [ableism removed] (feminists), while castigating men.

      Why hello there, ableism! Seriously, insinuating that the only reason that someone would see things differently than you, or have the temerity to showcase that Life is not as you envision it—is that they must be physically or mentally disabled is abhorrent. It’s not allowed here. I won’t allow you to scapegoat me, and people like me, because you see people like me as less-than and our illnesses as a means to insult able-bodied people you dislike.

      Many men are also sick of the constant criticism, nitpicking, blaming, slandering

      Translation: I don’t like to be called out on my shit. I also don’t like that others recognize the humanity of people who do Bad Things, refusing to diminish them to inhuman Monsters, so that I don’t have to reflect on how Bad Things can happen, or why. I don’t want to think that people who do Bad Things may be Just Like Me, so I will simply call everyone liars in order to preserve my be-pedastaled self-image.

      and lack of self awareness and personality responsibility coming for the feminist camp.

      Translation: I can’t do reading comprehension. I prefer inserting my own perceptions into others’ experiences to preserve my silly argument.

      Its like [ableism removed] and I have come to wonder if feminism is largely populated by women [ableism removed].

      Translation: You have issues with people with disabilities. You dislike those with minds and bodies that function differently from yours, and make no distinction between a person with a disability and something who believes differently than you, rendering you thoroughly incapable of engaging with either group, doubly so with someone like me, who both has a neurological disorder and believes that people deserve to live their lives freely, safely, without discrimination, without violence, and are entitled to respect and dignity.

      If women are looking to be “strong and independent”, which many are. Letting themselves be debilitated and infantalised by feminist ideology and paternal men like Hugo, is not the way forward.

      The only one infantilizing here, Eoghan, is you. You’re comparing feminism and disability in such a way that implies both are negative, and that people with either (or both!) groups do not deserve to be taken seriously. The way forward is for you to sit down and think—do I, and the millions of people with disabilities in the world really deserve being insulted? Is it respectful to use one’s illness as a means to degenerate someone else? Is it really a horrible thing that women are coming out and sharing their stories of abuse and rape, so that we may get those who hurt others off the street? Is it really a horrible thing for women to want respect—true respect?

      Despite all of this, Eoghan, that article had nothing with feminism. Those comments were off-topic. The particular article was in no way sympathizing with feminists, or infantilizing women, or whatever you say it was. All it was doing was seeking to strike a balance between men who want to check out women, while respecting women’s desire to, well, be respected. The Good Men Project in no way purports to be a feminist site OR a MRA/MGTOW site.

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