June 13, 2010 12 Comments
Clear blue liquid doesn’t come out of my vagina. Menstrual blood does.
Pads don’t “move with me.” They scrunch up and the adhesive weakens enough to come off my panties, but not so much that it doesn’t also stick to my skin.
Tampons will leak, no matter if it’s accordion shapes or conical, because it’s still cotton, and every woman is shaped differently.
The period itself doesn’t make me cranky. The cramps, jokes, misconceptions, myths, and lack of understanding about periods do.
Cramps are not some vague little side effect of a period. It is pain, and it is different for every woman. My cramps are a strong throb that reaches from my lower rib cage to my knees. You wouldn’t roll your eyes if I called that pain something other than “cramps.”
Stained panties are a reality of periods. Stained pants sometimes are, too.
“Period sex” is actually a lot of fun. Kind of like “sex.” Only you know your partner isn’t one of those who are one of those irritating jerks who makes you feel dirty for your biological process.
My vagina, along with all my other lady parts, are actually 3D. And are not blue, contrary to the directions in the tampon box.
My period doesn’t make me horny; I’m actually horny the other three weeks of the month, too. It just gives me a couple extra reasons to want sex: cramp relief, and a partner performing cunnilingus during that time is super sexy.
My period isn’t a disease. It’s a natural process my body does every month. You won’t get it by talking about it, I promise.
Yeah, you can still pee while wearing a tampon.
You cannot, however, have sex with one in. You could, but it’s not very pleasant.
No matter how thin you make the pad, it still feels like a diaper.
The first morning bathroom trip is a rush to make sure yet another pair of panties aren’t stained.
For all its faults, there’s something relieving about wearing a pad after wearing tampons all day, in that you’re finally just letting it all come out, and the whole not having something wedged inside you all day thing.
The creators of those toilet paper commercials that brag about its absorbency have obviously never had to use it in lieu of a pad.
There are actually more options that tampons and disposable pads. Too bad they’re not widely available like said pads and tampons are.
No matter how many cutesy names squeamish people give to it, menstrual blood is still coming out of my vagina.
Where am I going with this? Let me tell you. I’m sick of the commercials dancing around reality because some ignorant people think talking about my period is “obscene.” I’m sick of people shuddering and silencing any conversation women have about their periods because it’s “gross.” I’m sick of periods being shrouded in mystery and misconception because people won’t just come out and be plain old honest about it. So here it is.
Any other realities I’m missing?